I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
