thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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