**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
