Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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