Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I deserve this hangover.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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