did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
