Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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