He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
