Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
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