Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
