i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
