That's intense
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
