something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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