Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I don't deserve a penis
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
