Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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