do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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