Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
