Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
