I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
