my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
