she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
