Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Please don't give away my fajitas
Never underestimate the power of titties
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
