i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
