3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
not ubering you a puppy
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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