Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
