drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
