So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
