i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
