This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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