Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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