I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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