I skipped work to stalk him.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
