i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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