dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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