In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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