first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
