Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
