Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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