I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
