nut hugger
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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