Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
