I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize