She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
