I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
