the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
