I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
