I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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