Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
