This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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