You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
why do cheetos always look like penises
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
