im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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