I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
foreskin is a definite game changer
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
