glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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