I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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