three words: i give head
three words: not that well
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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