I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
