Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
two words...techno handjob
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
