I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
