Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize