Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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