Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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