the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
