I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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