Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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