So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
