How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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