To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
