The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
