i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
you had me at cake vodka
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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