last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
