how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
