Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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