i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
