if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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