My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
